back where we thrive

We’re back.

Back at our farm. Back to homeschooling. Back to what we love and thrive at.

It is completely where we belong.

I shared already about our decision to go back to homeschooling here. We are three weeks in, and I am pleasantly surprised and relieved that things are going very well.

Yes, I still work FULL time and I work outside the home.  I haven’t had a mental break-down or screamed at any precious humans.  In fact, I would say the opposite is happening.

I sat on my porch this morning and listened while sipping that magnificent first cup of coffee. I listened to the distant hum of a center pivot slowly watering a crop of cotton.  Birds of all sorts were chirping and flitting back and forth.  I even enjoyed the birds that were louder and slightly annoying.  You know the sort, right?  The ones that squawk. Yeah, even they seemed nice today.

Coyotes howled and screeched as the early sunlit horizon warmed my face.  Hornets buzzed and floated on the (less warmer then usual) air.   I’m certainly not going to call it “crisp”, “Fall”, or “cool”.  It’s still Southern AZ I live in.

This may sound terrifying to those of you who didn’t grow up in the Southwest.  Coyotes, hornets, squawking birds in September. Fear not! I was in no harm.  I was in my blissful place.

The point is this.  I haven’t sat in such silence for a year. I haven’t heard the sounds of nature and farming country for too long.  Something that refreshes my soul has been gone.  Nature.  I really can’t do too much city.  I feel closest and most appreciative of God and who He is when I see it everyday in this form.

Gratitude and peace overwhelm me here.  I heard, feel and witness that glory of creation daily at the farm.  Maybe that’s what I personally need.  I see so much devastation and destruction in my line of work.  I see the worst people in society, I see the moments in humanity that impacts the future of a family.

A lost life, a mangled arm, a new life.

The most amazing and tragic days are my job. Also, some pretty disgusting humans are out there to grace me with their issues.

I need a refresh. I need a long drive to unwind, and to prepare.

I think that’s why I breathe in the refreshing scenes and sounds out here.  I breathe deeply and often.  Intentionally.

I know I’m not alone.  The kiddos took roughly 30 seconds of living out here to soak it in and get right back to catching toads, frogs, and bugs.  Day one there was a teen eating dinner in the tree.

They PLAY!

I can’t tell you how much having a rock backyard the size of a postage stamp muffled the energy out of these five children.  Their energy was turned on each other- not in a great way.

Now they all have room to spread out and explore, create, have fun.  Together.  They are choosing each other!  It’s like a miracle has occurred here.

Listen when I say this.  They still bicker.  Space doesn’t cure everything.  It just has given them more options.  :)

I love how they can open the door and go outside.  I’m not worried about them getting kidnapped from our yard.  I’m not worried about them getting hit by a car while riding their bikes.  I’m not worried that someone is going to come into our yard at night.  I’m not worried that they are playing too loud.  I’m not worried about my dog barking.   I’m not worried in general.  Some may think that living out in the middle of nowhere is scary.

Isolating.

Unsafe.

I would argue that the more people you are around the more unsafe you are.

We have all isolated ourselves in the “safety” of our city house for a year.  Going outside has been planned instead of organically happening.  You can’t go to the park without an adult.  We have driven around the streets of a neighborhood that is “family friendly” for a year.  You don’t see families in their yards.  The streets are vacant. No one sits on their front porch.  I wouldn’t recognize more than 3 neighbors.  I never saw even a glimpse of them.  They drive into their garages, shut the door, and are never seen.  Seriously!  Who have we been living next to?

If you are a city person, that’s great!  I’m not.  I don’t know how to feel the same things and live the same way with all the crowds.  I’m so thankful that we aren’t being called to that right now.  We have seen what the city has to offer and we have declined.  We have come full circle to the place we have all loved for so many years.  We have grown here, just as lush as a beautiful garden.  We have lost here.  We have become different here.  We have loved it.  Every bit has changed us into the family that we are now.

I feel a stirring again inside.  I movement that causes reflection.  I can hear a whisper of my voice coming back to me.  I haven’t felt like this for so long!

Maybe it was the stress of college, life, busyness of the city, goals.   Whatever it was, it’s going away.  My love for writing has never left me, but my ability to express it faded for too long.  Maybe I just had nothing to say.   This place sparks instant inspiration.

We are simply free here.  We are free to play, learn, refresh our souls.

We are free to thrive in an environment that tells us daily, ” You belong here”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

mama’s back!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who remain here.

My little corner of the web has survived my year long absence, and two years of being unkempt.

I’m back.

I cannot wait wait to fill you all in on my little life lessons and bits you have missed.  If you follow me on instagram you have a pretty good idea of what’s been happening in our lives.  If you don’t- what are you waiting for?  I’m the most interesting human on earth…or not.

Let’s get down to what event has brought me back to this place.

My happy place.

I’m graduating from college!  That’s right.  My shambled life is starting to get back to a pace this cocaine-free girl can handle without having a conniption.

I’m so excited.

I’m relieved.

We’re all relieved to be honest.

It’s been one of the most demanding and trial-filled years of my life.

But….

I did it.

Well, He did it.  God have been the peace that has calmed my heart every test, every milestone.  He has been the one that allowed others to see the good in me.  He made my hard work noticed.  He guided me through.

He watched over my babies when I wasn’t there.  He was with my husband many nights while I worked night shifts, swing shifts, and was at class late into the night.

He gave me this drive inside.  The stubbornness to keep going when I wanted to quit.  He brought to memory things I had forgotten in the nick-of-time.

Persevere.

That’s my life motto.  Long before there was Dori swimming, I have had this word etched into my heart.

Persevere.

And I did, persevere.

I’m sitting here just two days away from my goal.  Just two more finals and I’m there. I can’t believe I’m here, this close to the end.  My heart is rejoicing and my spirit is longing to be done with this season.

I thank you again for all who have visited this space over and over and saw nothing new, but you stayed.  You didn’t give up on me.

Friends, I have so much to fill you in on.  I can’t wait!  What have you been doing?  What blogs should I be reading?  I haven’t read a blog in years.  What shall we do together?  Read? Knit? Mama chat?

I feel like a little kid before Christmas.  Eager and full of anticipation.  I ‘m ready to open the gift of sharing in the place.  It’s time to encourage and love and get real.

Mama’s back!

 

resolutions you won’t break

People like I set resolutions this time if year. Last year Mine was to buy more active wear and be inactive in it.  I’m serious, and I did that.  But then I broke my goal and took up running.  Do you sense a theory here?  I set a goal I knew I could reach, and then I realized I’m made of more than that.  What I love I must do.  I need goals to reach, and setting real goals is important to me this year; more than any other year.

We should all set the goal of moving forward.  Whatever you have dreamed of doing and have never done, why not give it a shot?  When I was a teenager I first believed myself a writer.  I never knew if I was very good or not; all I knew is that every word I wrote needed to be as true and real as I could make it.

I have never stopped writing.  Even after I became a Christian and my writing changed dramatically, it never stopped.  I just love it, and I just need it.  I have to write whether anyone cares, whether or not I’m great at it, whether or not I feel like it.  I must write because I’m a writer.

My resolutions, goals, whatever you want to label them include making some solid plans.  I want something to reach for, even if it feels impossible or too hard.  Dreams are only made true by taking action.

1.  Get Josie’s book published- However this happens, I’m spending this year to focus on this.

2.  Keep blogging- 2-3 times a week is my goal:  Be consistent and have something worthy to say.

3.  Keep writing- about everything

4.  Make homeschooling more fun- patience is usually the key here; along with a sacrificial perspective.

5.  Expand the farm- time to take it up a notch around here

What are your goals?  Write them down and make them real.  Don’t hid your gifts, talents and interests.  God created us the way he did for a reason.  What’s yours? When you’re passionate about it, you won’t give up.