moving to the city

If you haven’t been here long, you my not know. I’ll share with you a not-so-secret.  I’m a planner.  I love things in my head being organized and thought out well.  I like to have a paper planner.  Old school style.  We have moved 7 previous times in 15 years with lots of time and help and organized lists, labeled boxed by room and most important contents, all utilities changed ahead of time ect.  This time was much different.

Though we had planned on moving for a few months, I was in school and couldn’t even consider looking at a box until I graduated.  So, we moved in two weeks.  Two weeks from nothing packed to sleeping in a new home.  I had to let lots of things go.

Today is our fifth day living in our new house in the city.  Guess what?  I still have all the utilities on at the old house.  That’s right.  Everything’s a mess.  Well, to me anyways.  I tried to take care of the rest of the list I had made today, but it’s in Nick;s name, so he has to do it.

It’s out of my hands.

I’m learning that most things are nowadays.  It’s so much a bad thing.

I am forced to relinquish control over my life in small details, and big ones as well.  This causes me to have to make peace with where I am and who really is in charge.

Despite my efforts to have every details thought and planned, I make a mess that only God can clean up.

I hadn’t looked at my planner or a calendar for a week. I forgot about appointments that inconvenienced a certain person…that made me feel awful.

I got sick right at moving time.

Josie had a urgent medical appoint I had to drive 1.5 hours to (she’s going to be fine), Isabel had to be taken to the urgent care and ER (She will also be fine), and I felt like giving up the ghost by the end of it all.

I’m not truly in control.  There are things I forget due to my human mind, events that you are unable foresee, and it ‘s hard predict how you will feel or how much energy you’ll have.

It’s not all about me or my plans and schedule.  Sometimes it’s about forgetting all that and just enjoying a moment in time.  Rest when you are forced to rest.  Be made to train your high-strung pup who is terrified of all the houses in the city. Just let it go.

Me.  I need to let go and just enjoying moving to the city.

 

 

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the unpredictable life

Since my return to the workforce in January 2015, I have been absolutely not keeping up on this blog.  I have only really written about hoe busy, hard, tiring life has become.  While I never intend to be phony, or over enthusiastic about the truths of these feelings, I certainly don’t want this to be a place for whining.  I will be honest here for a moment.  This blog will not be what it once was.

I will post things about our (very small) garden, our family, our fun.  It simply won’t be the same.

I’m a working mom.  I’m a college student. Our kids are now in public school.  I’m on my way to be a firefighter/EMT.  Nick is no longer a pastor.

Our life is wholly and completely changed from what it once was two years ago.  I cannot see it being the same again.

Life is unpredictable.

I have often thought of posting here over the months.  The truth is I wasn’t sure how it would be received by you.  What I write about won’t be the same or what I think you expect.  So, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to write about what our life is now.  I may not write any knitting patterns soon, but I may pull off a project or two a year (not a month). The name of this blog might not make sense all the time, but we’re too far along to go back now.  It’s been 7 years!!  Thank you for staying with me.  We will still farm, and fun, and mom here.  I think you will like some of the new topics as well.

If you want to see what we’ve been doing this summer catch up on our YouTube vlogs.

I am simply going to write about us.  Our life right now.  Let’s begin (again).

the assiduous life

Saying the word “busy”  didn’t seem like enough to describe how much our life has changed this last year.

Assiduous.

Taxing.

Overwhelming.

In the midst of a life swirling around us, we are forced compelled to turn our trust and hope and faith in God.

There are times in this life that feel heavy and troublesome.  There are seasons that feel that way.  There are years that have that oppressing cloud over them.  This is one of those years for our family.  The light is at the end of the tunnel, though.  That little flicker of hope is shining through.  There are days I’m convinced that I’ve imagined it.  Others, I know it’s there.

What am I talking about?

Relief.

Over the past eight months I’ve gone from Stay At Home Mom to Career Mom.  Nick has gone from Sole Provider to Mr. Mom.  We are about to embark on Homeschool to Public School…again.

We’re in that awkward phase.  The one where you know it’s rough waters ahead, but you can see that sparkle at the end.  The one where if you just push a bit harder, you’ll find rest, but you know you can barely take more.

I realize there are plenty of you out there that work full-time and have children.  This is new to our family.  The change in pace and rhythm has been a challenge from the beginning.  I fully understand the strain on family ties when there are two working parents!  It just takes so much work to work.

::I’m going to insert a confession here.  This is a bit of a therapeutic post for me.  I have hardly the time or brain mass to write nowadays.  I’m putting forth the effort now because I feel I need to write.  There’s only so much my poor husband can take.  Continue on if being my Whipping Boy is fine with you.::

Here we are.  Nick on the brink of advancing at work (UPS…finally), and I in the crossroads of Can’t Quit and Worn Out.  You see, my income is drastically more than Nick’s.  In fact, if I hadn’t had the Favor of God in my workplace, I’m not sure what we would’ve done.  For some reason we simply can’t understand or see yet, Nick had a very difficult time finding a job.  Very difficult.  So, here we are.

Forced Compelled patience.

I never thought we would be here…ever.  I’m a career mom, Nick’s the main caregiver of the kids.  He makes bread (seriously) and I make work schedules.  He runs the schooling.  I run a restaurant.

Things are changing soon.  Soon, the kids will be in school, the husband will put in more time at work, I will be on the hunt for an after-school caregiver.

Never thought we’d be here.

Here we are.

Humbled by the circumstances of life.

Open to the leading of the Lord.

Re-evaluating our past convictions.

Entering into the life of an average American family.

I must say, though we never dreamed or planned or wanted this life, we are walking though it with faith.  Hope that the light that we see or imagine, flickering at the end of a dark and trying year, is really getting closer.

Just a bit more to push through.  A wee more time.  Much more work.  A true path that has been laid knowingly and intentionally by a God that has a plan.

Forward we will march on in our assiduous life.

Romans 5:3-5

Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.