the unpredictable life

Since my return to the workforce in January 2015, I have been absolutely not keeping up on this blog.  I have only really written about hoe busy, hard, tiring life has become.  While I never intend to be phony, or over enthusiastic about the truths of these feelings, I certainly don’t want this to be a place for whining.  I will be honest here for a moment.  This blog will not be what it once was.

I will post things about our (very small) garden, our family, our fun.  It simply won’t be the same.

I’m a working mom.  I’m a college student. Our kids are now in public school.  I’m on my way to be a firefighter/EMT.  Nick is no longer a pastor.

Our life is wholly and completely changed from what it once was two years ago.  I cannot see it being the same again.

Life is unpredictable.

I have often thought of posting here over the months.  The truth is I wasn’t sure how it would be received by you.  What I write about won’t be the same or what I think you expect.  So, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to write about what our life is now.  I may not write any knitting patterns soon, but I may pull off a project or two a year (not a month). The name of this blog might not make sense all the time, but we’re too far along to go back now.  It’s been 7 years!!  Thank you for staying with me.  We will still farm, and fun, and mom here.  I think you will like some of the new topics as well.

If you want to see what we’ve been doing this summer catch up on our YouTube vlogs.

I am simply going to write about us.  Our life right now.  Let’s begin (again).

the assiduous life

Saying the word “busy”  didn’t seem like enough to describe how much our life has changed this last year.

Assiduous.

Taxing.

Overwhelming.

In the midst of a life swirling around us, we are forced compelled to turn our trust and hope and faith in God.

There are times in this life that feel heavy and troublesome.  There are seasons that feel that way.  There are years that have that oppressing cloud over them.  This is one of those years for our family.  The light is at the end of the tunnel, though.  That little flicker of hope is shining through.  There are days I’m convinced that I’ve imagined it.  Others, I know it’s there.

What am I talking about?

Relief.

Over the past eight months I’ve gone from Stay At Home Mom to Career Mom.  Nick has gone from Sole Provider to Mr. Mom.  We are about to embark on Homeschool to Public School…again.

We’re in that awkward phase.  The one where you know it’s rough waters ahead, but you can see that sparkle at the end.  The one where if you just push a bit harder, you’ll find rest, but you know you can barely take more.

I realize there are plenty of you out there that work full-time and have children.  This is new to our family.  The change in pace and rhythm has been a challenge from the beginning.  I fully understand the strain on family ties when there are two working parents!  It just takes so much work to work.

::I’m going to insert a confession here.  This is a bit of a therapeutic post for me.  I have hardly the time or brain mass to write nowadays.  I’m putting forth the effort now because I feel I need to write.  There’s only so much my poor husband can take.  Continue on if being my Whipping Boy is fine with you.::

Here we are.  Nick on the brink of advancing at work (UPS…finally), and I in the crossroads of Can’t Quit and Worn Out.  You see, my income is drastically more than Nick’s.  In fact, if I hadn’t had the Favor of God in my workplace, I’m not sure what we would’ve done.  For some reason we simply can’t understand or see yet, Nick had a very difficult time finding a job.  Very difficult.  So, here we are.

Forced Compelled patience.

I never thought we would be here…ever.  I’m a career mom, Nick’s the main caregiver of the kids.  He makes bread (seriously) and I make work schedules.  He runs the schooling.  I run a restaurant.

Things are changing soon.  Soon, the kids will be in school, the husband will put in more time at work, I will be on the hunt for an after-school caregiver.

Never thought we’d be here.

Here we are.

Humbled by the circumstances of life.

Open to the leading of the Lord.

Re-evaluating our past convictions.

Entering into the life of an average American family.

I must say, though we never dreamed or planned or wanted this life, we are walking though it with faith.  Hope that the light that we see or imagine, flickering at the end of a dark and trying year, is really getting closer.

Just a bit more to push through.  A wee more time.  Much more work.  A true path that has been laid knowingly and intentionally by a God that has a plan.

Forward we will march on in our assiduous life.

Romans 5:3-5

Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Finding beauty

It is easy when one blogs, to portray a perfect life that consists of only happiness and fun. It has never been my intention to do that here. We are a real family, though many of you don’t know us personally, I assure you that we are. I believe that my children are wonderful, but I can’t pretend they are perfect.

They fight, steal, lie, disrespect,and even as I type this I am correcting them for ugly things they are saying to each other. This is life. Real life. Our lives have changed greatly over this last year on the farm. We all have more physical work. This sometimes, or perhaps often, leads to crankiness in us all.

Through the added responsibilities we are also learning many lessons on on the importance of grace and forgiveness. Towards each other and from God towards us, we are experiencing grace and forgiveness. In the middle of all the work and family and ministry we do each week, I just try to keep my eyes open for moments of beauty and happiness.

These are the things that make it here. Sweet memories of children, little projects completed, reflections of what God has illuminated to me (most times these are obvious to everyone but me…slow learner), and tips we’ve learned along the way.

Where do you find beauty? Maybe while weeding your garden (figuratively or literally) as I did today. Weeding is necessary in both cases. Might as well enjoy the flowers.

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the absentee

My computer has been constantly crashing; hence this blog has been silent. I will do my best to update you by way of mobile device.

The farm has been busy, as we are gearing up for the soon breeding of our goats, processing of the pigs and turkeys, and starting to turn our thought towards wood stoves and garden boxes.

I debuted at the Farmer’s market with a friend. We received a generous gift of leather couches and beds for the girl’s room.

It has been busy, but fun and productive. We’ve found our moments of fun and play, amidst the schedules and school work.

I’ve been back at my knitting…working through my stash to justify the need to try my hand at spinning :)

We have been full of blessings here, laced with work and planning. What has this season brought you?

life again

We’re enjoying beautiful weather and color.  Spring comes at such a perfect time.  Just when you think it will never be warm and vibrant with life, the flowers bloom and the sun come up.

” I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead , yet shall he live.”  John 11:25

10,227 days of life

That’s how many days I’ve been given thus far.  Today is my 28th birthday.  My truly wonderful husband set up a massage session for me as a surprise on Monday.  He said it was for my birthday and Valentine’s day.  What a blessing. 

I’ll admit it was a new and at times awkward experience.  I kept asking what she meant by “get ready” but it took a few more questions before I understood what she meant.  Have you ever had one?  Well, if not lets just say I was more “exposed” with that women than anyone else…besides Nick.  Yes, there was a blanket, but I knew what was under it.  So, that was Monday. 

Today I didn’t expect anything since my gift came early, but another surprise awaited me.

My guy is so sweet isn’t he?  I love that these mums will be planted and kept forever.  I was told when my new camera arrived in November, that it was a year of presents.  I was more than happy with that, but my guy wasn’t :)  I feel so blessed and loved today.  Really, always.