the assiduous life

Saying the word “busy”  didn’t seem like enough to describe how much our life has changed this last year.

Assiduous.

Taxing.

Overwhelming.

In the midst of a life swirling around us, we are forced compelled to turn our trust and hope and faith in God.

There are times in this life that feel heavy and troublesome.  There are seasons that feel that way.  There are years that have that oppressing cloud over them.  This is one of those years for our family.  The light is at the end of the tunnel, though.  That little flicker of hope is shining through.  There are days I’m convinced that I’ve imagined it.  Others, I know it’s there.

What am I talking about?

Relief.

Over the past eight months I’ve gone from Stay At Home Mom to Career Mom.  Nick has gone from Sole Provider to Mr. Mom.  We are about to embark on Homeschool to Public School…again.

We’re in that awkward phase.  The one where you know it’s rough waters ahead, but you can see that sparkle at the end.  The one where if you just push a bit harder, you’ll find rest, but you know you can barely take more.

I realize there are plenty of you out there that work full-time and have children.  This is new to our family.  The change in pace and rhythm has been a challenge from the beginning.  I fully understand the strain on family ties when there are two working parents!  It just takes so much work to work.

::I’m going to insert a confession here.  This is a bit of a therapeutic post for me.  I have hardly the time or brain mass to write nowadays.  I’m putting forth the effort now because I feel I need to write.  There’s only so much my poor husband can take.  Continue on if being my Whipping Boy is fine with you.::

Here we are.  Nick on the brink of advancing at work (UPS…finally), and I in the crossroads of Can’t Quit and Worn Out.  You see, my income is drastically more than Nick’s.  In fact, if I hadn’t had the Favor of God in my workplace, I’m not sure what we would’ve done.  For some reason we simply can’t understand or see yet, Nick had a very difficult time finding a job.  Very difficult.  So, here we are.

Forced Compelled patience.

I never thought we would be here…ever.  I’m a career mom, Nick’s the main caregiver of the kids.  He makes bread (seriously) and I make work schedules.  He runs the schooling.  I run a restaurant.

Things are changing soon.  Soon, the kids will be in school, the husband will put in more time at work, I will be on the hunt for an after-school caregiver.

Never thought we’d be here.

Here we are.

Humbled by the circumstances of life.

Open to the leading of the Lord.

Re-evaluating our past convictions.

Entering into the life of an average American family.

I must say, though we never dreamed or planned or wanted this life, we are walking though it with faith.  Hope that the light that we see or imagine, flickering at the end of a dark and trying year, is really getting closer.

Just a bit more to push through.  A wee more time.  Much more work.  A true path that has been laid knowingly and intentionally by a God that has a plan.

Forward we will march on in our assiduous life.

Romans 5:3-5

Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

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saying goodbye

There has been a dead silence here, hasn’t there?  Our family has gone through some major changes.  As such, it’s hard to be consistant in this place.  We have said goodbye lately to some huge areas in our lives.  I’ll tell you just a bit about them before we move along to normal blogging.

First, we have sold our milking does and all our babies.  I have been in desperate need of some stress relief.  Not being a slave to milking every 12 hours has given me time to re-evaluate, and settle into a new life we are entering.  This brings me to the next HUGE change in our lives.

We are no longer in charge of the church we started.  It is very bitter, and a bit sweet.  Now is certainly not the time to go into the details, but I will say that I haven’t minded the extra family time.  With both if these changes, neither Nick nor I feel as “tied down” as we used to.  We have been enjoying the ability to have more family outings.

Another goodbye that was purely out of our hands is the complete loss of our garden.  Our humble little patch barely made it through a hail storm.  I was hopeful that the few leaves left would be enough for at least a small crop.  A larger more devastating hail storm blew through just a couple of weeks later.  That left us with nothing to work with.  It also ruined our roof, and damaged our vehicles and pop-up trailer.  It was a bummer.  A big one.

It has been a month full of sadness and change.  I can truly say that I will continue to praise Him through the literal and metaphoric storms that we have been in the eye of.  He is good and faithful no matter our lot in life.

We are all looking forward to the start of a new homeschool year.  I’ve been flying around organizing and planning.  The kids are actually looking forward to our beginning next week.  I really love back-to-school shopping.  The house has been filled with the smells of new crayons and pencils.  We’re locked, stocked and ready to fire away.

What have you been up to?  I do hope you have been having fun and growing closer to Him.