I keep sitting down at the computer trying to say something of importance to you. I come up empty. I think back on events of the week and find nothing that stands out. Nothing to write in this space. For the fifth time in a week I sat again this morning, waiting for something to come. The nothingness that followed actually became the concept. I find myself wanting something significant to happen each day. Something to share, a photo to take, just something out of the ordinary. I often forget to just enjoy a regular, uneventful day.
Contentment. That word can cut me deep. It isn’t so much that I’m not content with my life, it’s the quiet that gets me. The moments of rest I’m called to by God are the hardest for me.
Be still. Know that I am God.
That has always been a struggle for me. I’m a busy-body. A do-er. I like challenges and problems to solve. Perhaps, that’s why I’ve always found myself attracted to an over-loaded schedule. I’d rather turn down a task than not have a full plate. It makes sense to me. I’ve always been that way.
I like deadlines, big events, and a dollop of chaos to unravel. I know, I’m quite strange. It’s just how I am. I’m built for weird.
I’ve heard of a book over the last few years that tackles such a personality as mine. Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. I just began to read through it last week. This is really speaking to me. If I could re-write the title to better fit me, I’d call it, Having a Mary Heart with a Martha Mind.
Do you also struggle in busyness? I certainly lean more towards Workaholic than I do Laziness.
If so, I think you would enjoy this read. I love the way she has addressed the fact that Martha isn’t less spiritual of worse than Mary. She points out the strengths and weakness in both.
As I look for areas in my life I need to rest in, I also know that being busy isn’t a bad thing. I just need to make sure I focus on Jesus and the path the Holy Spirit leads me down. I pray for discernment in my life constantly. I ask myself what taking on something else would profit me, my family, the Kingdom of Heaven. Is it worth it (time, effort, money, energy)?
Have you any thoughts here? What do you do to decide your life obligations and activities? Do share!
I am learning more each day the value of quiet. Nothing to report, ordinary, mundane, life has many lessons for me. I am grateful for the silence. I have found that a new challenge is always around the corner. The rest is worth taking while I have it.
Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God[c];
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.