choosing to trust

Yesterday was a rough one.  The three younger children have the chore of putting away the dishes.  They were fighting and arguing constantly.  Each attempt to redirect and reason was met with more arguing and more fighting.  By 9:15 AM I was ready to hid in my room and read with a locked door.  Do you ever have a morning that seems to let you know the rest of your day will be and uphill battle?  I called it yesterday.

I didn’t call it out loud.  I pleaded with God that it wouldn’t be.  I prayed we could turn it around.

That didn’t happen.

It’s hard for me to see the good in times like that.  Suddenly, I’m worn out.  I become very unproductive.  Nick and I had a dinner date that night.  Right up until we left the fighting continued.  I was to meet him after I dropped off the kids.  I was running late because of all the talks and attitudes that resulted.

I felt bad that I was even leaving them with their grandparents.  Naturally, they were no trouble for them at all.  I was relieved, but sheesh!  I would have liked to enjoy a bit of that.

By the middle of dinner I was ready to give up the farm and move to the city.  Won’t it be easier if there’s less work? Wouldn’t it be nicer to be closer to supportive friends.  To say it lightly, yesterday was a bum day.  I real bummer.

This morning; however, I woke at 5:15 (usually I get up at 6:30), and things seemed up.  I read my Bible, had a cup of coffee, and milked the goats before Nick rose.  The kids are still sleeping.  I’ve even thrown in a load of laundry.  Here I sit typing away as if yesterday’s woes never were.

Isn’t that just like us humans?  We are such emotional being.  One day, we’re giving up the dream, and the next we’re enjoying every moment.

I was a bit busted this morning as I did my Bible study in 1 Samuel 8.  How many times am I just like the Israelites.  I praise God and worship him.  I want to follow His will.  The next moment I’m complaining about what he’s given me and rebel against Him.  I don’t want his little “gift” anymore.

Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies. Psalms 40:4

Today, no matter what those hooligan kids of mine throw at me, I want to choose to trust God.  Since they’re not up yet, I’m not sure how successful I’ll be.  I’m ready though.  I trust Him logically, but not always emotionally.

Friends, are you feeling like you relate?  Is there something or someone(s) you’re letting rule your emotions?  I want you to know you’re not alone.  He is with you.  I don’t want to believe the lies that I can’t do it (life).  I can if I tap into God’s strength.

God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:33

I pray I’ll be content with whatever great things or whatever struggle comes at me.  I will follow Him.  How about you?  What encourages you when the weight of life is on you?  Do you know He loves you?  He does.  We mamas have so much pull in every direction.  It can be overwhelming!

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

 

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5 thoughts on “choosing to trust

  1. I think you know I can relate… Lots of times I feel like I want to give up, and or I just blow it and emotionally burst. Some days are bad like you were describing to where I feel so unproductive and torn down, T I R E D, because it is difficult. Many times I’ll just look around my house and think, “Have I done nothing?” even though I work my tail off. But in the end I always come back to, it’s not what it looks like, or feels like that matters. It’s, am I doing what God has called me to do, childrearing? A soon as I feel a call to repent from bad attitudes and grumpiness/ugliness towards the gift that God’s given, because it is hard and I do get that way, then it’s time to change and do it right from then on. But I think that’s what we call perseverance (steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or DELAY in achieving success) Yes WE BLOW IT!!!! But it’s good to wake up in the morning, a new and fresh sense of “We can do this” God renews us and we persevere. I think a heart of willingness and steadfastness toward God and his calling in our lives will in the end prevail. I think He also uses others in my life to also lift me up, and point me in the right direction. It’s good to have someone in your life who will do that.

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  2. I totally agree. Somedays I feel like I can conquer whatever is thrown my way and then I feel as if I am going to drown. I know my Heavenly Father is there and is always there, he wants me to succeed to be happy….sheesh! I do know that I will never give up I will always look to him for guidance and reassurance

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