I heard on the radio last night a phrase that stuck with me. It was Charles Stanley speaking about how every disobedience we commit towards God is us saying that we don’t trust him. The phrase was something like, “How many of us Christians have tried to be good Christians with all our might and have failed miserably?”
He was saying that when we take control and do things how we think it should be done, we are saying to God, “You’re not doing it right.”
I thought about that so much I barely heard the rest of the sermon.
I’ve been there as a mom for sure! I often feel that God wants me to do a lot. I have it in my head that He expects perfect and excellence. If you’re a mom you know the name of the perfect excellent mom.
I never set out to be Supermom on purpose, but I’m enticed by the thought of her. I mean, who isn’t? She bakes and cooks food her children love. Her husband brags about her perfection. She teaches her children with patience and diligence. Her house is well-kept. She is one who serves her neighbors. What carbon footprint? She does everything right. She sews everyone’s wardrobe and brings income to the household.
If Supermom is these things, she sounds great. I’m not her. I cycle between being focused on the house cleaning, focused on the kitchen, turning my attention to the laundry, honing in on exciting school lessons, planning/organizing. I personally do these things. Never, ever all at once. I have fought against feelings of failure in every area. I can’t do it all, all at once!
I’ve tried with all my might and failed miserably.
I’m still learning, but I think I’m surviving Supermom. She loosing y’all. It’s not for lack of trying though. She’s put up such a great fight over the years. I can’t tell you how often her moralistic and Martha Stewert whispers have filled my ears. She always wants to mesh my spiritual health with my outward appearances. Lady, I’m sick of you telling what others are doing and trying to get me to go along. I don’t have time to clean with Q-Tips. I can’t muster another once of energy for alphabetizing spices. I don’t have the money to put everything in our house into clear, plastic bins. That’s not what the bible meant by “keeper of the home”. They didn’t even have plastic back then.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t spend the time I need in prayer and the Bible, and still have the energy to sustain our schooling, farming, ministry, and family needs perfectly. Things may get disheveled. I’m just going to look around, take a breath in, and hid in the laundry room to pray. Won’t that serve my family better? Are you drowning right now? You know what? I don’t care anymore about Supermom. I don’t have the desire to keep up with that energy ball anymore. If that means I don’t cook gourmet meals and I don’t press every shirt before it’s hung, so be it.
I don’t desire to exercise at 5 AM, because that’s the time slot open in my life. I’m not the sort who cares more about my looks than I do my sleep.
I’m here to tell you, put Supermom to rest. You don’t need to be a perfect mom and wife on the outside. You only need to be a surrendered one on the inside. Surrendered to God’s grace and mercy. Focusing on our spiritual health and our ministry to our children’s hearts is a better use of our time. Doesn’t that sound more freeing?
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. Psalms 1:1-2
I’m not saying be a slob and abuse your body. I’m not saying to stop trying in life. I’m not telling you that if you enjoy crafts and such, you shouldn’t. Just be the mom and wife God is calling you to now. By now, I’m saying today. Maybe tomorrows wife can handle organizing the cabinet. Today’s just survived no sleep with an infant and toddler. Maybe she’s just nice to hubby when he gets home, and that’s all she can do that day.
Don’t be so busy scrubbing baseboard, that you push your kids away. Yep. That can happen here. Well, maybe not baseboard.
I just want who God wants me to be. Don’t you? I want to cultivate a passion for playing with my children and reading to them when I’d rather do something else. I think in order to survive Supermom I’m going to have to consciously humble myself instead of exalt my deeds and accomplishments.
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. James 4:10
I’m aiming for a victory over Supermom, not to become her. How about you?
P.S. Supermom isn’t real. So just be you.